The Hungary Games

Just like District 12 and the Hunger Games, so too are the Hungary Games.  Whatever, we got to shoot a bow and arrow and felt like Katniss Everdeen for a minute.

A few weeks ago my friend, Molly, wrote me an email and said "Let's go on a trip.  Do you want to go to Budapest?"  And I said "No, not really."  Then we started comparing ticket prices and length of travel and Budapest became the least cost, shortest travel time alternative and thus, tickets were purchased, hotel room booked and research began. 

We flew on Wizz Air, highly heckled because of their pink and purple (both the brightest version of those colors) color scheme.  "No real airline picks those colors."  Wizz flys mostly to small, crappy airports in parts of Eastern Europe that you haven't heard of.  Maybe you have, but I hadn't.  Wizz, like Ryan Air, Easy Jet and the other budget European airlines is a crapshoot of crazy, involving jamming of bodies onto buses, running down the runway once the bus stops and elbow jabbing old ladies in the face to get a seat.  And, at the Budapest Airport on the way back, a pack of 6 very large Hungarians who tore open their Duty Free Palinka (which is the Hungarian version, except more delicious, of grappa - which for you who don't know what grappa is, it's like fire water that is made from the stems and skins of grapes after they were first used to make wine.  You drink it after dinner, exhale fire and feel the warmth go into your belly while you try not to vomit in front of the waiter.  It's a fun game, for sure!) and downed the entire 750 mL bottle before getting on the plane.  That stuff's 80 proof.  They drank it in under 10 minutes.  Holy crap.  I clapped.  They judged.  But seriously, damn. 

But we got there.  One cab ride later (involving a significant amount of secret searching for the exchange rate app on my iPhone - "How much is 7,600 HUF???  Is that a lot???  It sounds like a lot..."), we rolled up into the Boscolo Autograph Collection Hotel.  It was one of the fanciest hotels I have been inside.  Ok, go ahead and judge, I don't stay at fancy hotels all that often.  So in walk Molly and I, mouths gaping open, attracting flies, to this crystal palace filled with hydrangeas in elaborate vases, the most attractive doormen known to Eastern Europe and chandeliers like crazy.  "We should make sure this is the right hotel before we get too excited," I whispered out of the side of my mouth to Molly.  When I asked, the very hot doorman smiled [swoon] and reassured me that we were in the right place.   [Swoons]

[Enter Lynne's battle with awkward showering #492]  I booked through Orbitz.  I shouldn't have.  Molly and I walked into this massive, super modern hotel room and again, our mouths dropped.  But for one tiny, itsy bitsy problem: super modern hotel rooms in Europe think that also requires them to have an all-glass shower in the middle of the room with no door.  I wish I could say that we are graceful people (sorry Molly, I'm lumping you in with me on this one) but we just aren't.  We had to come to agreed upon areas of the room that required your back to the shower while the other was in there and then ended up getting the entire bathroom soaking wet because there was no stinking door on the shower!  Come on, Europe!  Put doors on your showers!  People need that!  Or put a drain in the middle of the floor.  Or don't make your floors marble.  I mean, it's like the perfect storm of dangerous bathing situations, and I can do that all on my own, as the sheer number of posts labeled "Awkward Bathing Situations" would lead one to believe.

And we were off!  The day before we left, I bought tickets to the Budapest Opera House for their evening show of some random ballet.  The tickets were 1,200 HUF a piece and I was nervous at first that this would be too expensive.  Well, with the conversion rate, that's roughly $5 to see a ballet in a world renowned opera house.  During intermission, over a $1 glass of wine (#winning), we discussed the plot.  "So, is that guy supposed to be Satan?"  About half way through act 2, we gave up.  "Why is he in a wheelchair?"  It got complicated.  But people danced in spandex and looked really beautiful. 

Budapest cafes are possibly the most adorable in the world for one reason: they have blankets at all of their outdoor tables.  It is the most adorable thing I've ever seen and I was obliged at each location to put the thing on, whether I was cold or not, because seriously???  What kind of place has outdoor blankets?  Adorable places.  When I open my perfect pub, which will be called Prim & Proper, it will have outdoor blankets.  And people will say "Do you want to go grab a drink at that adorable pub with blankets?"  The answer is yes.

But back to the trip!  We spent all day Saturday on the most heavenly tour of my life.  I think back on it, much like the doormen at the Boscolo, and sigh frequently.  Taste Hungary is the most amazing company for tours.  We went on the Somlo (pronounced "shom-low") Region wine tour with Gabor, who had the most hearty, authentic laugh that convinced both Molly and I that we were, hands down, the funniest people on the face of the earth. 

Lynne: "Gabor, is that a grape?" 
Gabor: "Hahahahahahha" 
Lynne: Damn, I'm funny.

On the tour, we tasted about 1,000 wines and walked away with 28.6 KG of wine.  Holy cats.  That's a lot.  Our second winery, Spiegelberg, is owned by the Istvan, a slightly lecherous German who relocated to Hungary after working for both BMW and a movie theater.  Somehow, those skills translate into wine making gold because his wines were probably the best that I've had in Europe.  And I live in Italy.  From his crisp, mineral-rich whites to the stuffed cabbage that his girlfriend made over the flames of a campfire to the sweet farm dog named after his prize-winning grapes, Furmint, it was one of the most amazing days of my life.  No words, no photograph, no explanation can ever truly capture the serene, lovely, peaceful nature of that place.  We returned back to the city, our hearts full of the Hungarian countryside and yet already missing that idyllic, magical place.  Even now, I still feel a tinge of sadness to have left.

Budapest surpassed all expectations.  It was such a magical, wonderful trip.  I will hold it dearly with me as the years pass and remember my dear friend, Molly, our day in the heavenly countryside and a little dog named Furmint. 

Baci,
Lynne